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No more jokes about Tigers - Oct 08 7:18 PM
DETROIT -- Three years after listening to the all jokes during the Tigers' 119-loss season, Jeremy B...

Croyle: Chiefs quarterback of the future 
Kansas City Star - Oct 08 10:11 AM
Father Time and Brother Ringo sit side-by-side, because Herm Edwards wanted the rookie to watch and learn. If Trent Green keeps a clean locker, Brodie Croyle’s had better be in Good Housekeeping. If Green reads, then young Brodie might want to finish that Johnny Unitas book sitting on the top shelf.

Kalamazoo man had unique humor 
The Kalamazoo Gazette - Oct 07 10:03 PM
For Rich Kuerbitz, his uncle, Edwin Neckermann, was more like a brother. Despite a 17-year difference in their ages, Kuerbitz and Neckermann, 36, loved to wrestle in the autumn leaves, play one-on-one football and play jokes on other family members.

Inside Dish: Bears' Clark motivated by negative chatter - Oct 08 10:32 PM
The Bears were widely criticized for not drafting a tight end. All the talk appears to have motivate...

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I just finished short funny clean jokes reading Orwell's 1984 and I am reeling sqweeky clean jokes from the after-effects. Has anyone else read it? the best clean jokes Can some assure me that the future will not be like that!!!? :-P Jayant,17 Years,India • contribs 13:02, 4 September childrens + jokes + clean 2006 (UTC)

I've read it too, it's awesome, but I don't know if I christmas jokes clean can reassure you about it. Speaking of which as wiki increasingly becomes clean + jokes more definitive and the first place people look for facts and as the information gets clean bald jokes more viral as more people copy it, does anybody get the clean best story jokes feeling that being a wikipedian is like working at the ministry of truth.
1984 is da clean cartoon jokes and pictures sh*t! It's my favorite great literature book. I can't reassure you that the future won't be clean corny bar jokes like that, but I think that Wikipedia clean elderly jokes and stories will be the last holdout of peace and freedom if it is. clean flash cartoon jokes uk Interesting culture note: On Seinfeld, in 1993 or so, Jerry and George impersonate two NeoNazis in order to get a clean french jokes ride in a limousine from the clean funny jokes about audio airport. The person that George impersonates is named O'Brien. Kramer and Elaine take on the roles of Winston and Julia in clean funny jokes about thinking that they feel betrayed by their friends' purported beliefs. :0 :) clean funny jokes and stories Eilicea 14:36, 5 September 2006 (UTC)
That's one of my clean funny office jokes favorite episodes. Are you sure about the 1984 allusion clean funny pictures and jokes though? It may be original research :) Ungovernable ForceThe Wiki Kitchen! 01:59, 6 September 2006 (UTC)
No, I'm just assuming, but it does clean golf jokes make sense. I might be reading into it too much with the Kramer and Elaine clean humor funny picture jokes part. I see clean humor funny pictures jokes that we both like Seinfeld and peppering our conversations with smiley faces. :) clean jokes about change Cool. Eilicea 16:32, 6 September 2006 (UTC)
I think you're probably reading too clean jokes about firefighters much into it. O'Brien is a common name. Anyways, here's a link to the episodes [[1]]. It needs major cleanup, but I'm too lazy. Ungovernable clean jokes about the army ForceThe Wiki Kitchen! 03:14, 7 September 2006 (UTC)
If you clean jokes bible liked 1984 you might want to check out Animal Farm which is also clean jokes church bulletins kids very good. I also found the 1984 film version of the novel very good. clean jokes for family gatherings I think it's clean jokes for the elderly one of Richard Burtons best roles.  YDAM TALK 14:01, 4 September 2006 (UTC)
You may also be interested in "Brave New World". clean jokes funny picture -- ßottesiηi (talk) 16:42, clean jokes funny stories 4 September 2006 (UTC)
Brave New World is good, but I prefer 1984. Ungovernable clean jokes top ForceThe Wiki Kitchen! 01:59, 6 September 2006 (UTC)
Has anyone seen Wikipedia:1984? Kind clean men jokes of amusing... --Mr. Lefty Talk to me! 18:34, 4 clean penguin jokes September 2006 (UTC)
I am currently searching for the above books. Incidentally, my brother bought the biography clean pentecostal jokes or funnies of Orwell, Orwell, The Life by D.J. clean short jokes for the family Taylor. Looking forward to reading it. Oh yeah, the Wikipedia:1984 clean superman jokes is cool!, kinda creepy though.:-P Jayant,17 Years,India • contribs 18:41, 4 September 2006 clean yo daddy jokes (UTC)
Is it just me, or was Animal Farm far better than 1984? Or maybe I like it more because it's short, and is corny bar jokes clean therefore similar to what some say my attention span free clean funny jokes is... Picaroon9288•talk 19:16, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

I won't reasure anyone that it won't happen, but I funnhy jokes clean hope it doesn't. A year or two ago a group (I think they funny and clean christian jokes were anarchists, funny clean blond jokes but I can't remember) started a campaign where they went into bookstores and moved copies of funny clean christian jokes 1984 into the non-fiction section. I got a kick out of that. I also saw a really funny political cartoon funny clean irish jokes with Bush saying "War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, funny clean jokes blind Ignorance is Strength". The next frame has him saying funny clean short jokes "These are all from 1984". Frame with a pause. Next frame says "Ronald Reagan was a funny jokes eyes one clean genius!". Ungovernable ForceThe Wiki Kitchen! 01:59, 6 September 2006 (UTC)

Ehh I haven't posted anything here in months, funny pictures clean humor jokes for kids (late March or early April) funny short clean jokes the place looks very different. I'd just like to say from my funny stuff over 400 clean jokes you can tell your own personal experience that 2+2=CHAIR! :) KOS | talk 06:48, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

KoS!!!!! OMG!! Welcome back!! Not seen good clean funny jokes free to print you around for a long time. *party* --May the Force be with you! Shreshth91($ |-| ŗ great clean jokes 3 $ |-| ţ |-|) 06:55, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
A party is always a good thing! I've been back for jokes clean actually funny a while now it seems, at least two jokes funny clean videos months. Just had my 1 year wiki jokes short clean anniversary, though it might not count since I was not around for 4 of those 12 months. Anyhow, I've mostly stayed morman jokes clean away from community pages since my return. :) KOS | new clean jokes talk 07:45, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
With Fairy God not so clean jokes Parents 2+2 can equal Fish! (Best Crocker impression) Ahhaha! Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 11:46, really funny good clean jokes 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Go psychic!

Ooh, a Rorschach test senior jokes & stories clean for the coffee lounge! I see spanish clean jokes a bicephalous wolf with an angry leprechaun rider.--Húsönd 03:11, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

I see a perfectly very funny jokes that are clean symmetrical continent with four lakes and three peninsulæ. —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  18:31, 16 September 2006 (UTC)
I see two wasps (not bees) on on a flower. IolakanaT 18:51, 16 September 2006 (UTC)
2 druidy people dancing round someone sat closer to the picture. Philc TECI 20:07, 16 September 2006 (UTC)
Hahaha. I can see those too! But I think the druids are still holding the leprechaun. Who is bicepahous as well btw.--Húsönd 20:58, 16 September 2006 (UTC)
I see an inkblot on a page. Seriously, I see a butterfly. (formerly Tachikoma) --Kyoko 20:22, 16 September 2006 (UTC)
Mostly just the inkblot for me; but after I thought about it long enough, perhaps Wile E. Coyote.
Chris (blather • contribs • e) 21:09, 16 September 2006 (UTC)
I see a crocodile being tackled by a large grizzly bear... with laser beams.--TBCTaLk?!? 21:46, 16 September 2006 (UTC)
I see a duck fighting a chicken for supremacy over the milk, because the duck needs to give its son, a bear, some milk, or else the mafia don will kill him. Anyway, I just see a country of some sort.--Suit-n-tie 04:38, 17 September 2006 (UTC)
I see two house-elves kissing a giant beetle. Ungovernable ForceGot something to say? 06:13, 17 September 2006 (UTC)
I see the Pokémon Deoxys holding up two Pichu by their necks. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 06:15, 17 September 2006 (UTC)
I see two house-elves kissing each other whilst perched on a giant beetle. ~crazytales56297 - t-e 01:01, 20 September 2006 (UTC)
Two pixies/dwarves/other mythical creatures carrying something by the horns. haz (talk) e 18:35, 20 September 2006 (UTC)
A beetle, being ripped apart by two sparrows, destroyed by it's own moral inadequacy. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 09:19, 22 September 2006 (UTC)
...? -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 14:36, 22 September 2006 (UTC)
Two witches, sacrificing a pig. --Mnemeson 00:43, 23 September 2006 (UTC)
I see the deformed underside of a ray. bibliomaniac15 03:10, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

I see 2 witches kissing a beetle's a**!?! Shadin 14:16, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

I see an angry spider face with fangs that are too short. --Friendly Porpoise 20:54, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
A black mutant reindeer brightly lit on each side by a spotlight, thus casting two shadows. AlethiophileEvil Kitten wants you to TALK TO ME 20:09, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

World's Longest Poem

Recently, a fellow Wikipedian has been bold and decided to challenge the Mahabharata as the World's Longest Poem. To do this, we need to get a total of 1.9 million words (Yes, 1,900,000 words). If you can at least crank out a small rhyme, contribute as many lines as you can. Thanks. bibliomaniac15 03:09, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

Oh man, that's a good idea. We used to write stories like this, but never chain poems. I'll check it out. — riana_dzasta wreak havoc|damage report 03:23, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
lol, I bet you can't pick out which four lines I added. Oh wait, you probably can. Tee hee hee. Ungovernable ForceGot something to say? 03:41, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
Hehe, I think I made the poem go off on a tangent. -Fsotrain09 03:49, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
No, that was me. I was planning on doing something like that, and you just gave me the perfect segue. Thanks. Ungovernable ForceGot something to say? 04:04, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
(edit conflict) I $uck at Western poetry, but I gave it a try. —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  03:50, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
Grr, anarchists don't tell people what to do. Now go back and change it or else! ;) Ungovernable ForceGot something to say? 04:03, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
In ancient Japan, that's how people used to write haiku's. One person would write the opening, the next would write the next section & so on. Haiku's could be written by many people over more than 100 years! Anyway, I'm a poet & don't you know it! Spawn Man 05:13, 25 September 2006 (UTC) ;)
Well as you may notice, I've added over 100 lines & some 700 words to the poem. Even with that we've got a loooooong way to go if we ever wanna rival the current record. I think there's a fact that says: "If one person counted every second of every day, it would still take around 30 years to reach 1 million." We're writing at less than 1 word per second, so it might take considerable longer. How long a period were the current record holding poems written over? Thanks anyway, I'll still work on it as it's quite fun! -- Spawn Man 07:50, 25 September 2006 (UTC).

Actually, I think it's only 12 days to count to 1 million. AlethiophileEvil Kitten wants you to TALK TO ME 02:50, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

Why does it have to rhyme?? I find that to be discouraging. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 08:37, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

Oh God! It seems Willy on Wheels has entered the poem! I wonder what will happen next....--TBCTaLk?!? 19:52, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

Congrats! It seems the the poems has already reached over 1000 words![2]--TBCTaLk?!? 20:11, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
Hey everyone. Regarding this topic, don't you think we should have like acts or titles? This would help editing ease & also help readers find a specific point. I highly doubt that the Mahabharata were made without any titles or paragraphs? Just a thought. So it could be like "Act I - Willy enters", "Act III - The death of Willy on Wheels" (Yes I'm thinking of killing him off already... muahahahaa...) -- Spawn Man 21:54, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
Eventually, we'll have to split this into subpages if it's going to get to be almost 2 million words. bibliomaniac15 22:43, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
But is that a yes to putting in Acts? I could do the work... Spawn Man 00:14, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

I feel a new age coming about inside me, Rhymes and poetry lay all about me… anyway, I added another worhtless bit. —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  04:24, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Now its' getting funny… —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  23:47, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
It really is.-- A stressed out Suit-n-tieTalk About The Suit 02:07, 27 September 2006 (UTC)
I don't know...It's starting to slow down...I wonder if it'll make it...--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 03:35, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
Yar, have no fear! It'll pick up. Plus, you've got me working on it! :) It'll happen one day. DoomsDay349 20:15, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
I think we have to set our goal a little higher.. I just found this.. Epic of Manas... :-P Jayant,17 Years,India • contribs 09:10, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
A new challenge! Yay! DoomsDay349 20:11, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
I added acts in appropriate places. AlethiophileEvil Kitten wants you to TALK TO ME 15:25, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

A Good Joke?

Anyone know a good joke?--Suit-n-tieSuit's Talk 01:00, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Q= Why did the chicken cross the road? A= I dunno... -- Spawn Man 03:09, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
But seriously, I have one:
One morning, a little red man was in his home. It was a hot day & he was very sweaty. So he took a bath. In the bath he cleaned himself & then got out. At the front door he could hear the mailman delivering the mail, with the signature "clak!" of the letter box closing. There had been a recent upsurge in the occurance of mail theft lately & not wanting any trouble, the little red man put on his bath robe & headed for the front door. He opened his front door & bent down to pick up him newspaper. Just at that moment, his robe came undone as he bent down. At that moment also, a little old woman across the street was hit by a car whilst crossing the road. However in hospital she maintained it wasn't her fault. The police asked her why she stepped in front of traffic & if she was mentally sane. However she simply said: "I'm right. You're still allowed to cross the road when the little red man is flashing..."
Hardy har har har... Spawn Man 03:16, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
Son, "-Mom, may I have a bicycle?"
Mother, "-No, you may not because you already have a yoyo."
Moral of this story: The grandma ate peanuts never again.--Húsönd 03:19, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
Woohoo! Defrag!
  • Everytime I read that Husond, I laugh. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 09:45, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
Oh, I thought of one.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Punch line: Because the chicken had to cross the road because his house is on the otherside. The chicken was mildly inconvenienced, until the turkey crossed the road, which is an entirely different story. Moral:Don't feed chickens after midnight, or else they will cross the street, over and over, and over.
Not real good, eh? I used to think it was funny when my cousin said it. Now it doesn't make sense.--Suit-n-tieTalk About The Suit 03:25, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
I've got another (warning, this may seem rude to those without humour ;):
A woman was out of work, so she began looking for jobs in the local paper. She instantly came across one for the local toy production factory. When she went to the interview, she was hired on the spot. She started work the very next day & she was extremely excited. Her new boss gave her the task of helping test the new "Tickle me Elmo" toys coming out along with a few things to do with them. So she set to work. After about an hour or so, numerous workers began visiting the boss & complaining about how long she was taking to test the elmo toys. So the boss went downstairs to see her. Sure enough, there was a huge pile of elmo toys around her on the conveyor belt. He watched her silently for a bit. She would pick up a toy, cut two small pieces of orange fabric & put cotton wool in it. Then she'd glue it onto Elmo's pants. Confused, the boss ran up to her & asked "What the hell are you doing?". The woman replied, "I'm only doing what you asked - Give each Elmo two tes-ticles."
Hardy har har har har! Test tickles? Get it... Hahaaha... Spawn Man 04:03, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
I have an eerie feeling that this joke section won't thread for too long. :-D --Húsönd 04:10, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
Ha ha ha ha, how funny! Yeah, maybe you're right...--Suit-n-tieTalk About The Suit 04:15, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

And another one!

One day, a company boss decided he needed a new employee. So he placed an ad in the newspaper. Only three people had replied after a week, so he asked to interview them. However, the boss was worried about interviewing them personally, because he had a problem. From birth, he had been left with no ears. This made him terribly self conscious. On the first interview, the lady was very impressive. Her resume was great & she has oodles of confidence. However, unsurness crept in & the boss decided to ask her a question. "Do you notice anything strange about me?" He asked her. "No. You have an orange tie?" Hearing this, the boss knew she was lying & decided not to hire her. After lunch was the next interview. The man was also again very impressive with a good work ethic. However, when the boss asked him the same question as in the first interview, the man replied that he did not see anything abnormal. Angered, the boss again decided not to hire the man. Towards the end of the day, the boss entered the last interview. Although the last guy was good, he wasn't as good as the others. After a bumbled interview, the boss asked the guy the same question. However, he was surprised by the man's answer. "You wear contact lenses". The boss was very excited about the man's observant character & asked "How do you know?" The guy replied: "Because, you've got no freakin' ears."

Hardy har har har har hahahaha (That was last 1...)-- Spawn Man 04:16, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

OK, I have some:

  • Q: What's the difference between a Nazi and a trampoline?

A: You can take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

  • Three Nazi skins are drinking on the top of a bridge. The first is drinking Guinness, the second is drinking Pabst and the third is drinking Blatz. They all jump off the bridge at the same time.

Q: Who hits the ground first? A: Who cares, as long as they all hit it eventually.

(Suggestive themes, ethnic stereotype)

  • A car theif, a Jew and a gay guy are all in Hell, but God decides to offer them all one more chance on Earth to prove themselves. All of a sudden, they find themselves on a street corner at night. They are walking down the street and all of a sudden the theif sees a tricked out sports car with the keys still in the ignition and the door unlocked. "I just can't pass this up" he said. He got in the car, reached for the keys and POOF!, he disappeared. The other two are scared, but decide to keep walking anyway. All of a sudden, the Jew looks down and sees a penny on the ground. "I just gotta take it" he said. So the Jew bends down to pick up the penny, and POOF! the gay guy's gone.

(Coarse language)

  • Q: What do you call a black person flying an airplane?

A: A pilot you fucking racist.

  • (Caution, coarse language and themes)

A boy goes up to his dad one night and asks "Can you explain politics to me?"

The dad is quite tired, after having a long day at the job, but tries the best he can. "Well, think of it like this: I have the job and make all the money, so I'm like capitalism. Your mother, she decides how we spend that money, so she's like the government. Our maid is like the working class. You are the people, and your baby brother Jamie is like the future. Do you understand?"

"Not really," the boy responded, so his father says they'll finish their conversation in the morning after he has gotten some sleep.

The boy went to bed and fell into an uneasy sleep, as he still had many questions. A little while later he woke up to his baby brother Jamie's cries. He went to the room next door and could tell that Jamie had soiled his diaper. He didn't know how to change it himself, so he went to his parent's bedroom. He gently knocked on the door, but no one answered, so he quietly opened it. He saw his mother sleeping, but his dad was gone. When he tried to wake his mother, she told him to leave her alone, so he decided to try and find his dad instead.

As he was walking in the hallway, he saw the door to the maid's room was ajar, and heard strange noises coming from it. When he peered inside he saw his father making love to their maid. The boy obviously didn't want to disturb them, so he decided to just go forget about his brother and go back to sleep.

The next morning, the father asked his son, "So, what do you need me to explain about politics?"

The boy said, "Oh, that's ok, I think I understand it all now."

The father, clearly surprised, asked, "Oh, really? Well, can you explain to me your understanding of politics now?"

"Sure" the boy responds. "No one listens to the People, Capitalism is screwing over the working class, the Government doesn't give a damn, and the Future is in deep shit."

  • (Fans of police officers shouldn't read this one)

Q: What's the difference between a cop car and a porcupine? A: Porcupines have their pricks on the outside.

  • (Dirty joke, read with caution)

Q: What did the lesbian vampire say to her lover? A: Same time next month. If you don't get it (like many people) click here

  • (And another dirty joke Read it out loud if you don't get it)

Q: What's the difference between anal sex and oral sex? A: Oral makes your day, but anal makes your whole week.

Ungovernable ForceClick here to complain about these jokes 05:12, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Q: What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? A: She choked.
SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 05:25, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

  • Okay, here's one of mine:

A young man is sitting on a bus. In front of him, to old ex-army men are deep in conversation.
"It's Wohoom!" the first one claims.
"No, no, no," the second argues. "It's wahoooooom!"
They carry on for a little while, until the young man eventually leans forward, and quietly says,
"I believe the word you're looking for is womb."
The first man turns to him, enraged, and demands, "How on earth do you know what a hippopotamus sounds like farting underwater?"
Okay, not great, but... Charlie MacKenzie 23:06, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of joke?" bibliomaniac15 02:12, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

(Old Joke)
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"
-SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 03:07, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Two Italians are sitting in a bus; one is explaining something to the other. An elderly lady sitting behind them listens in on their conversation:

First Emma come, then I, and then 2 asses. Then I come again, and again the 2 asses come. Then I come, and pee, and then I come again.

The lady is outraged, and asks them what they are talking about

The man turns around and says: "I'm teaching him the spelling of Mississipi".

Here's another one:

Two Chinese come into a restaurant. The waitress gives them the menu, and after flipping to the last page, they both pull down their pants, and start whacking their penes furiously. The waitress inquires what they're doing. One of them points to the menu card, where it's written: "First coem, first serve".

--May the Force be with you! Shreshth91($ |-| ŗ 3 $ |-| ţ |-|) 14:09, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Some good jokes:

I saw this guy hitchhiking with a sign that said "Heaven". So I hit him.

I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him...'Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay." He went insane.

My grandma started walking five miles a day every day when she was 60. She 84 now, and we still don't know where the hell she is.

DoomsDay349 00:42, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

  • That just got out of hand pretty quickly. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 09:34, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
    • Well alright:

Clean Jokes! Nothing Silly!

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out a tree on you, would kill you?

A pool table [punchline] tity boom [punchline].

Anyway, I got home and the phone was ringing. I picked it up and said,"who's speaking please?" and the voice said,"you are".So I rang my local swimming baths and asked," is that the swimming baths?" He said, "Depends where your calling from." So I rang the rubbish removel place and said, " I want a skip out the front of my house" and he said, "I'm not stopping you". After that I went to the dentist and he said, "say ahhhhh" and I said, "Why?" and he said, "because my dog has died." Most dentist chairs go up and down but this one went backwards and forwards. "This is strange" I thought, and the dentist said, " For Christ's sake, get the hell out of my filing cabinet." So I was driving home and my mobile rang, it was my boss. He said "you've been promoted" and I swerved. He rang again and said, "You've been promoted again" and I swerved again. He rang a third time and said, "You've been promoted to managing director." and I swerved into a tree. A policeman came and said," what happened?" and I said, " I careered off the road".

Replace the first O with a U.

Santa Claus, on trial....

"Sir, is it true that you called my client, not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES, a 'ho'!?"

"You blasted him into another dimension?" "It was an accident! Relax, he'll be fine til I find him again.... unless he ended up in a Dimension of Pain or something."



"Thanks, can I use your bathroom?"



A guy walked into a bar, and when he stepped inside, he fell over. He looked down, and saw he slipped on some mess a dog left. He then went to the bathroom to clean up his shoe. When he stepped out of the bathroom, a really big, bulky, tough bikey walked through the door, and slipped on the same mess. As he was picking himself up, the guy said, "T goes in a tea pot."

  • Knock knock
  • (who's there?)
  • Big-ish
  • (Big-ish who)
  • No thanks.

She was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!

We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!

Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?

Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

His wife stared at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

And that's it.

  • I'm really very sorry. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 09:42, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
    • What do you mean it got out of hand? Those were funny...  :( DoomsDay349 20:27, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
      • Kittens!
This kitten is about to kill you.
        • It got out of hand, because it took me 45 minutes to type and think up. But thanks for the praise DoomsDay, I hope to one day become a commedian as soon as I am released. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 11:35, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Q: What is the difference between a truckload of sand and a truckload of kittens?

A: You can't unload the sand with a pitch-fork.

Q: Why did the blood-covered kitten cross the road?

A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

You may think I'm kidding, perhaps that I'm cruel and sadistic, but of course we all know kittens are evil and are our greatest enemy. DoomsDay349 02:34, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

DoomsNightXXX! Be careful of what you say! I am a kitten and what you just said is nonsense and of course Sadistic! Miaaaaw!!! If you want to talk to me, please refer to my master! -- El Gato Del Che 14:40, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
I don't know... I have a cat that tries to strangle me in my sleep, sometimes. No joke. He does that "pawing" thing that all cats do, but somehow always manages to end up at my neck. Plus, cats are known for sucking your soul right out of your body. And stealing your breath. I'm in the process of raising an Army of cats to dominate the world. I'm very close. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 18:31, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
Ok, good.
Q: What's the difference between a cop car and a porcupine?

A: Porcupines have their pricks on the outside.

Q: What's the difference between a cop car and a porcupine?

A: Cop cars have their pricks on the outside.

Well, where I live anyway. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 11:35, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Q: How can you tell if a violist is playing out of tune? A: His hands are moving.

Q: What do you call two violists playing in unison? A: Minor second. (This one requires a little music theory.)

Q: Why are the Beatles like the viola section of the Royal Philharmonic? A: Neither has played together since the 60's.

Q: What do an accordian player and a music lover have in common? A: Nothing.

Q: Why are accordian players like lawyers? A: They're the only ones satisfied with what just happened when the case is closed.

Q: What good is a viola? A: Kindling for the accordion fire.

- Che Nuevara 17:57, 3 October 2006 (UTC)


Has anyone ever laughed while reverting vandalism? Some edits and reverts do make me wonder sometimes! ([3], for example, and every WP:BJAODN page and sub page) —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  21:14, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

The other day someone added this to my user talk page, made me laugh (not sure why!). Finally back editing a bit more- hurrah! EVOCATIVEINTRIGUE TALKTOME | EMAILME 21:19, 27 September 2006 (UTC)
I don't laugh much, as vandals tend to be retards with no sense of humor. Whatsoever. For instance, this retarded little bit...[4].

DoomsDay349 21:30, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Careful Dooms. We mustn't bite, er, provoke the vandals. -Fsotrain09 21:37, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

I tend to mimic myself holding an AK-47 and blasting the vandal to bits. bibliomaniac15 23:58, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

  • Has anyone ever laughed while reverting vandalism? Does the pope shit in the woods? Oh, mercy. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 09:32, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

I've found a few edits that made me laugh. For instance, this wonderful bit of trivia about snails, and this edit to "Selling out". And how could I forget this one? :D ~Inkiиgton 10:06, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

  • My favourite. — riana_dzasta wreak havoc|damage report 11:27, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
Meh. Vandals are too stupid to be provoked. If they do happen to get provoked, then I'll shoot them all down myself! Yar. DoomsDay349 20:25, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
I'll destroy them with this. DoomsDay349 20:34, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
My patented AntiVandalRocket. Sending a message to vandals everywhere, one piece of burning flesh at a time.
THE KATYUSHA!!!!! WHOOHOO!!!!! $PЯINGεrαgђ  23:37, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
Damn right. Vandals should be afraid. Very, very afraid. DoomsDay349 02:15, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
A vandal meets his demise, thanks to the power of the AntiVandalRocket. Take that, vandalism!
Oh, I've seen something, my friend in real life,did this(check page history). It was crude, and rather mean, but made me laugh... I deleted it though, since it may get my pal blocked.--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 02:52, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

I love this one on the Anarchist Cookbook article. I actually added it to BJAODN. It was a mockery of the "Criticism by anarchists" section I added to the page. I still think it was great. Ungovernable ForceGot something to say? 04:41, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Okay. This is hilarious.--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 04:59, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
Apparently, vandals have developed some remote intelligence, just enough to make me laugh, because I found [5] this, which I found rather funny. DoomsDay349 05:52, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
I don't know what's happening to me, but this [6] made me laugh! I feel like a kitten just killed me or something...DoomsDay349 05:57, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
I found a small collection at Raja Lon Flattery userpage. Enjoy! -- Szvest 00:30, 1 October 2006 (UTC) Wiki me up ®

Those were all too funny!!!! -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 00:49, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

This was closely followed by this. - Che Nuevara 18:00, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Gray's talk page was vandalized: [7]. Now, to make it clear to people, I put the subscript, "Phocoenidae, not Delphinidae" in my main account's signature. --Friendly Porpoise 01:41, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

A no tricks lil question

Has anyone here ever vandalized an article? Be sincere, pls! -- Szvest 00:03, 29 September 2006 (UTC) Wiki me up ®

Have you? Me, I've never done so.--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 01:01, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
Not me, sincerely! -- Szvest 01:13, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
I read the What Have I Done?! stuff on your signature Suit. Have you done something wrong? -- Szvest 01:16, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
No, not at all, honest. I never did, and never will.--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 01:25, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Anyone else do something?--A message from Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 02:23, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Oh man. Errr... about 4 years ago, when I first discovered Wikipedia, I changed the word 'wiki' to 'kiwi' on one of the project pages... can't remember which one. Took me about 10 minutes to do. Got reverted in half as long. That's when I realised how hard people work to keep things clean here, and I felt incredibly bad.
There we go... my Wikiconfession! ::shamefaced:: — riana_dzasta wreak havoc|damage report 18:35, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

I don't know if anyone remembers when I had this picture on my user page (ignore the funky userbox stuff at the top), but I'm thinking about doing something like this:

An experienced Esperanza member teaches a new user how to take out the vandals in two hits or less.

 $PЯINGεrαgђ  20:47, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Hey, that battle was on my 14th birthday! 8D ~crazytales56297 - t-e 01:10, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
I guess I'll just come clean and admit a few things. Well, let's see... I was a vandal for my first week or so at Wikipedia, I did plain silly IP vandalism (nonsense rhymes and that sort of thing). I got tired of it since it kept being reverted in seconds and gave up, deciding to contribute properly, being far more worthwhile. Since then I vandalized one article on a certain occassion, can't remember exactly when. I was a.) Furious and depressed over the subject of the article and b.) decidedly tiddly. I was sober enough to log out though. :P I went back and reverted it immedietly if that means anything.

Yes there's more, long confession. :D I once vandalized my own userpage out of boredom, but that was in my first month at Wikipedia if I recall correctly. Phew, that's the first time I publically admitted to all that stuff. Hopes he won't be lynched. -- Banes 21:48, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

P.S. I presume this applies to Wikimedia projects only?

I like the WikiConfession term Riana. Sounds like a good idea of a project bringing vandals down back to earth! What about implementing it on Esperanza? I mean a lil room (called Confession Room) where ex-vandals including cute one as some of the Esperanzians here would confess. -- Szvest 22:57, 29 September 2006 (UTC) Wiki me up ®
I haven't vandalised under this account (thank God), but as either or (my current one), I vandalised Lillith (diff). <huge blush> and thank you Splash for reverting it! $PЯINGεrαgђ  01:48, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
I added my name to the list of guitarists once... :-P.. Jayant,17 Years,India • contribs 06:00, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
I've never vandalized Wikipedia, but I was reverted by AntiVandalBot because I blanked a page and forgot to redirect it. DoomsDay349 06:02, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
Well, I never vandalized but I did have an innapropriate username; thegreatcrapper. I got blocked, and the next day, I made it more suitable (get it? EH? Sorry for the pun...) and now I'm Suit-n-tie. Fascinating story, eh?--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 06:15, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

I have never vandalised anything... yet. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 00:55, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

I'm a reformed vandal. I did childish vandalism in '04. ~crazytales56297 - t-e 01:10, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

No vandalism, but I did write a long, nonsensical article in the sandbox once -- and I started an article on something that most certainly wasn't Wikipedia article-worthy. It was a real (kind of) company, but someone deleted the article within half an hour. Totally NOT following WP:DELETE! — Editor at Large ( talk) 03:12, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

Oh, now I remember one thing. I created a nonsense article about turkeys and whatnot. I deleted it once I realized what I was doing. That was way back, when I just became an editor.--A Stressed Out Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 01:43, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
I've been there - done that. Changed F-22 Raptor to F-22 Craptor. See: [8]]. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 12:08, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Give em' some pepper! Vandals scatter before semiautomatic 20 mm smart grenades!
The vandals' dwelling after being discovered by three top VandalProof users dispatched by Jimbo. —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  14:56, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

I vandalized George W. Bush's article once...stupid little denigrating stuff...reverted really soon. AlethiophileEvil Kitten wants you to TALK TO ME 21:11, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

New mascot!

New green mascot courtesy of Sango123 & me! (But mostly her...)

As per the discussion above a few sections, people were wondering if there should be an ESP mascot? I suggested my fave pic on wikipedia, the cute lil' lemming. It's now green with the ESP logo, & people up there seemed to like the idea. Where do we go now people, if you still like him that is? Thanks, Spawn Man 23:43, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Lemming vote (7/4)


  • Support per nom.--Húsönd 23:59, 27 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Support the lemming -- Szvest 00:05, 28 September 2006 (UTC) Wiki me up ®
  • Support. Lemmingness is next to godliness. (or some other such line). DoomsDay349 00:36, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Strong Support oops, this isn't an RfA. ;) —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  00:39, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Support. Almost as cute as the Jack Russell Terrier that lives with me. Ungovernable ForceGot something to say? 02:35, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Support. Because it's cute and furry. I would have supported any cute and furry animal, though. --Kyoko 06:43, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Support - Per my above statement... Spawn Man 01:11, 29 September 2006 (UTC)


  • Oppose. The idea of the mascot being a lemming just seems wrong. -Fsotrain09 00:52, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Strongly Oppose.I don't really, pardon my "language", give a damn about a mascot. Though, if I had my pick, it would be a cow or a wombat. --Suit-n-tieTalk About The Suit 02:07, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Oppose. Lack of mainspace edits, lack of interaction with other editors on article talk pages, needs to use edit summaries, needs to enable e-mail address. Oh, you say that this isn't an RfA? Well then, I shall switch my vote to Support. --Kyoko 06:43, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
    • Cute. ;) —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  20:39, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Weak oppose weak answers to questionsCute, but looks moldy. — riana_dzasta wreak havoc|damage report 11:24, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Strongly oppose. Lemmings have a habbit of jumping into the Artic Ocean. --TBCTaLk?!? 11:06, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
    • Reply - Well that is what the discussion up there solved, if you read it of course. ;) Anyway, think of it like this; There's a sea of normal coloured lemmings (or upset & angry Wikipedia editors!) jumping into the big sea (or leaving Wikipedia). And there's our green lemming (or Esperanza)in amongst them helping them to not commit suicide (making them feel good & telling them not to leave). Not only does it seem cute, but is a great symbolic choice for the project. Sort of like how kangaroos & emus aren't on the Australian coat of arms just because they're Australian, but because in real life they're incapable of walking backwards. Just my thoughts anyway, Spawn Man 01:16, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Strong oppose per comments below. --May the Force be with you! Shreshth91($ |-| ŗ 3 $ |-| ţ |-|) 16:14, 1 October 2006 (UTC)


  • Comment. How can you possibly think that? Lemmings are perfect in every way, shape, and form. They're both cute and cuddly and utterly awesome! They are perfect! What do you suggest as our mascot, hmmmmmmmmm? DoomsDay349 01:51, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
A wombat...Or a cow.--Suit-n-tieTalk About The Suit 02:12, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
Between the two I'd say wombat, but between wombat and lemming, I'd probably choose a lemming. Ungovernable ForceGot something to say? 07:25, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
Well, I'd accept a cow, but a wombat? Never. Never ever ever. DoomsDay349 20:19, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
A cow? You can't be serious. Ungovernable ForceGot something to say? 04:42, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
Lemmings>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Cow>>>>>>>>>>>>>Wombat>>>>>>>>>Everything>>>>>>>>Suit-n-tie. YAR! DoomsDay349 20:02, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
The cow does hold significant value to me...Guess it's just my Indian blood....COWS!!--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 04:26, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
Oh, I didn't realize that. I hope I didn't offend you then. I can understand really liking cows if your from India, but being American myself, I tend to not have too much appreciation for them beyond any other animal. I mean, I like them enough to not eat them or any other animal, but they just seem so...well, not cute. I did have a calf suck on my hand once though, that was funny and kinda cute (but a bit disguisting too). Ungovernable ForceGot something to say? 04:54, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
It's not that you offended me or anything, just wanted to mention the cow thing...Actually, I wasn't born in India (hope to go there eventually tho'!), I was born in America, at a small hospital about 4 miles away...Well, that's all...COWS, or a wombat...I like farm animals (wombats aren't farm animals, I know).--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 04:59, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
See now, picture a green cow. Green cows give green milk, or if they are bulls, green meat. Disgusting, either way. A green lemming, however, is in no way disgusting. Except for the possible alien-background, but hey, we're not here to just, are we? Aliens are people too. And that includes alien lemmings. (Cue the patriotic music).  :) DoomsDay349 05:19, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
I don't care if the cow wins or is even mentioned anymore, but, if need be, like all cows die and only green ones remain, I'd ingest their meat and milk...Hmmm, a green wombat? I don't know...The lemming's okay, tho'. Better than that thing down there, at least.--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 06:09, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
Suit-n-tie, have you heard 'Cows with Guns' by Dana Lyons? I have a feeling you'd like it. — riana_dzasta wreak havoc|damage report 06:46, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Comment. I would prefer it if the lemming were'nt green. That makes it look... alien. --May the Force be with you! Shreshth91($ |-| ŗ 3 $ |-| ţ |-|) 06:58, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
    • But green is our color! And the alien part is cool. Ungovernable ForceGot something to say? 07:25, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
      • Alien you say? Did it ever occur to you that GREEN LEMMINGS DON'T REALLY EXIST? Of course it's an alien! Do you think that something like this is biologically possible? DoomsDay349 20:19, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
        • Exactly, and Esperanza isn't an alien organization;it's a human/e organization. I don't think people coming here looking for comfort and support will be encouraged by the sight of a green lemming. I would support of the lemming looked natural (it's unbearable cute). Let's not try to be *cool*; our goal here is to spread warmth. Anyways, any proposal here won't go through till it's proposed on the Esperanza talk page.--May the Force be with you! Shreshth91($ |-| ŗ 3 $ |-| ţ |-|) 16:14, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
            • Well we can propose it there one we get it decided here. DoomsDay349 23:53, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Comment: Can we name him/her Lirilith? My friends and I had a cartoon lemming friend named Lirilith back in Junior High. We designed her for our report on tundras. Lirilith was a girl, not sure about this lemming though. We also ended up naming the tree we ate near Lirilith too in her honor. We also had an invisible gay dendrophiliac (lover of trees) friend named Bob who married Satan (another one of our trees). There was also a tree named Frodo. And yes, we were psycho, thank you for asking. Ungovernable ForceGot something to say? 07:25, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
That's wierd.--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 15:49, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Must the lemming be green? As Riana said, it does make the lemming look moldy. Could we have a normal lemming with the EA logo on it, maybe highlighted with a green circle or something? Sorta like Superman's S. --Kyoko 21:40, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
  • What's wrong with a nice, moldy lemming?--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 21:59, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Completely inedible. — riana_dzasta wreak havoc|damage report 06:44, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
What're you talking about? A little moldy lemming won't kill anyone. (turns around and eats a moldy lemming, begins to vomit...) Never mind.--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 03:38, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Witty Lines

Anyone have any witty sayings? I'm aiming to divert some of the vulgar humor away from the joke section. bibliomaniac15 00:07, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

My basic reply to anything insulting: "Die in a car fire". That's wit, if you ask me. But seriously, I think wit only works in a situation, like yo momma jokes, which as we know are the highest form of wit (ok maybe not, but it's a good example).
Example 1: Wit (not really, but it's an example).
Person A: What are we doing today?
Person B: Yo momma
Example 2: Lack of wit
Person A: And anyway, the math test is coming up.
Person B: Yo momma
Person A: Good lord you're stupid. (that was wit, there)
So you see, wit is dependant on situation. QED. DoomsDay349 00:49, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Yes, it might be a good idea to divert some rather unEsperanzian material from that section. :-) --Húsönd 01:57, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

That stuff was not my intention. I just wanted to hear a good (clean) joke. Guess it got a bit outta hand. Well, I don't have anything witty to say...I prefer to be sarcastic. It makes me feel happy.--Suit-n-tieTalk About The Suit 02:03, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
Heh, apparently I was wrong when I said that wouldn't thread.--Húsönd 02:09, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
Apparently I was too.--Suit-n-tieTalk About The Suit 02:13, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
Yea!! Sarcasm! -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 02:25, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
Oh, and did you honestly think that that was not going to happen. Tsk, tsk...
Example 3: Stop the conversation.
Person A: You suck!
Person B: No you suck!
Person A: No your a towel
Person B: ????????

And there you go. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 09:28, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

I wasn't making a yo momma joke, not really, I was demonstrating the most simplistic form of wit. My point, again, is that wit is dependant upon the situation. If you insult me, then I'd be glad to reply with a witty comment. DoomsDay349 20:23, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
Combo, (double points, oooo yeh)
Person A: Your gay
Person B: Am I?
Person A: Yeh, you gay
Person B: Look an eagle!
Person A: Shut up
Person B: No your a turtle
Person A: What are you on?
Person B: Your mum
Person A: Arggghhhhh
Person B: Yeh, she said that too
Person B: Lets square dance
Person B: I like star wars lego
Person B: Doo doo doo doo
Person A: ARRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!
Philc TECI 22:22, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

A lenghty week of Lingo's harrassement of Cool beans:

Day -1:

Mister lingo: Is your name Dan Druff?
Mister cool beans: Yes
Mister lingo:You get into people's hair!

Day 1:

Mister Cool beans (remembering day -1): They say that two heads are better than one.
Mister lingo:In your case, one would have been better than none.

Day 3:

Mister lingo: I heard you went to have your head examined.
Mister Cool beans: Who said that?
Mister lingo: Not important. Doctors found nothing there.

Day 4:

Mister lingo:You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
Mister Cool beans: Oh really? Thanks.
Mister lingo:You have a good weapon against muggers; your face!

Day -1 before murder:

Mister lingo:I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!
Mister Cool beans:Why? Could you stop your nonsense?
Mister lingo:When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say it was your stupidity.
Mister Cool beans:Not sure!

Final day:

Mister lingo:You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!!
Mister Cool beans:Bang, bang!! Take a vacation; go to "Club Dead".

P.S. Szvest to Esperanzians: I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more! -- Szvest 23:17, 28 September 2006 (UTC) Wiki me up ®

  • Look, I can't be held accountable for what I do when I'm high on Toilet Ducks. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 12:13, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Adopt a user

Hey, check this recent initiative by Flameviper12: Wikipedia:Adopt-a-user. It looks like a great idea, how about bringing this project to Esperanza? I already contacted Flameviper12 about it. What do you guys think?--Húsönd 15:09, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

That's interesting, I like it.--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 15:46, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
It sounds like the admin coaching program. Good stuff! -- Szvest 22:01, 30 September 2006 (UTC) Wiki me up ®
Good idea, but as Fayssal said, sounds a bit like admin coaching! EVOCATIVEINTRIGUE TALKTOME | EMAILME 22:08, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, but the waiting list for admin coaching is as long as my arm, and admins have better things to do. I think it'd be good for "normal editors" to have a chance to mentor people. — riana_dzasta wreak havoc|damage report 06:40, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
True. -- Szvest 23:24, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Adopt me!-[[User talk:Monkey13|Monkey<nowiki> </nowiki>[[User:Monkey13|13]]<nowiki></nowiki>[[User:Monkey13/Awards|!]]]] 22:03, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

Done. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 22:07, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

Wiki-Nightmares Anyone?

Has anybody ever suffered from a Wiki-Nightmare? I just made that word up, so here is my definition: Any Nightmare involving Wikipedia or your Wikipedia user account etc. For example: A nightmare involving your user account being blocked because you didn't cite your sources. (This obviously wouldn't happen in the real Wikipedia but a nightmare is a scary dream so anything could happen!) If you haven't; then share your thoughts on what would be the scariest Wiki-Nightmare. If you have, then please tell us about your experience. Thanks - Jam01 21:08, 30 September 2006 (UTC)!

I dreamed a while back (when I was Cliff) that I had a bunch of impersonators who were, you guessed it, trying to throw me off a cliff. BUT, I'm proud to say that's the only one I've ever had. ;) —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  21:14, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
No wiki-nightmares per se, but I have dreamed that I was editing Wikipedia more times than I care to admit. I've also caught myself trying to use Wiki-markup in non-Wiki applications. --Kyoko 21:37, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
Just once, where I couldn't remember my password.--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 21:37, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
You know it's funny you mention this. The other night I drempt that somebody had removed most of the references on an article I had spent ages researching and they right to do so too. I actually found it quite distressing at the time. Don't know what that says about me though  YDAM TALK 22:12, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
Some great responses so far; I just thought of another possible Wiki-Nightmare: A writer for the wikipedia signpost writes an article about how tacky some people's userpages are; and there is an example link showing your userpage! That would be worse than watching Psycho for some people! Jam01 05:18, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
I'm always signing my e-mails with ~~~~... and trying to use Wiki-markup, like Kyoko. ::addicted:: — riana_dzasta wreak havoc|damage report 06:32, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Been there, done that! ~~~~, er, —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  16:05, 3 October 2006 (UTC) :P

Siggy (not ciggarettes)

So Tempting...

Can someone make me a new signature... i lack Wiki Syntax Knowledge... but make it Pink Floyd based... somehow...dunno how... but please... if you do... ill give you a cookie--IAMTHEEGGMAN (talk) 22:30, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

How about this one?


--TBCTaLk?!? 23:25, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

-Or this?

IAMTHEEGGMAN ¡Meddle! The Final Cut

Editor at Large ( talk) 01:25, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

I love Pink Floyd! Just a thought: IAMTHEEGGMAN Speak to Me The Gold It's In The...
Dar-Ape 01:56, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
~IAMTHEEGGMAN wish you were here...
my idea ~crazytales56297t.e] 22:45, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
SO MANY!! CANT PICK!! but it's down to EAL's and TBC...ill pick later... OR HOW BOUT A VOTE!-- 23:16, 1 October 2006 (UTC) --IAMTHEEGGMAN (talk) 23:21, 1 October 2006 (UTC) (erm...)
oh wait... i can... Hybrid version by me

IAMTHEEGGMANΔdark side --IAMTHEEGGMAN (talk) 23:24, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

or this on... congrats TBC... because it said HTML was invalid and i didn't wanna figure it out... but after previewing it it still doesn't work... any help?--<u><font color=black>IAMTH</font><font color=#6C6C6C>EEGG</font><font color=#939393>MAN</font></u><sup><big><font color="green">Δ</font></big><font color="blue">dar</font><font color="orange">k s</font><font color="red">ide</font></sup> 23:33, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
Did you make sure to click the "Raw Signature" box?--TBCTaLk?!? 08:24, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
yea... :-( well... this is what you get...--IAMTH((EE))GGMAN (Speak to Me)(Breath) 15:52, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
That's strange... It's currently working for me. --IAMTHEEGGMANΔdark side 21:19, 2 October 2006 (UTC) (TBC using IAMTHEEGGMAN's sig for testing)
Oh, I know what's wrong. It should be:

<u><font color="black">IAMTH</font><font  color="#6C6C6C">EEGG</font><font color="#939393">MAN</font></u><sup><big><font color="green">Δ</font></big><font color="blue">dar</font><font color="orange">k s</font><font color="red">ide</font></sup>

and not

<u><font color=black>IAMTH</font><font  color=#6C6C6C>EEGG</font><font color=#939393>MAN</font></u><sup><big><font color="green">Δ</font></big><font color="blue">dar</font><font color="orange">k s</font><font color="red">ide</font></sup>

Sorry for the confusion.--TBCΦtalk? 21:23, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
praise the lord! --IAMTHEEGGMANΔdark side 23:52, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
yet forgot to fix and add links, and Boldness (Not "Be Boldness"... haha... crappy Wiki-Humor)--IAMTHEEGGMANΔdark side 23:59, 2 October 2006 (UTC) <-IAMTHEEGGMAN's Fix New Shiny Sig

My new sig

What do people think of my new sig? My old one was a bit long, so I've gone for a shorter, punchier one based on a favourite song of mine (bonus points if you can work out what it is!)? Laïka (Smurrayinchester) 12:43, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

I certainly like it, though it looks like I'm not going to get the bonus points ;) Thε Halo Θ 14:40, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
Well, apart from bearing a striking resemblance to the first dog to go up in space, I'm clueless. — $PЯINGεrαgђ 15:20, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
"Neighborhood #2 (Laïka)"?? -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 15:27, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
Yay!! SaturnYoshi wins! Laïka 15:36, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
Hooray for Wikipedia!!! -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 00:36, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Horay for Lentils! Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 12:18, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Hooray for random off-topicness! Laïka 15:24, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

New userpage

Hi people! What do you guys think of my new userpage design?? User:Imoeng. Also don't forget to put your name on the friends list, its still empty at the moment (only 2 ppl) :( Ahahaha. Cheers -- Imoeng 20:51, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

I can't read the text on your page. Too tiny. Perhaps you should try another font. Apart from that, it looks great. :-) --Húsönd 21:18, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, the font's a bit ick. Otherwise it looks super-duper, might nom you for the next user page award! — riana_dzasta wreak havoc|damage report 06:37, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Great user page, but fair use images aren't allowed in the userspace, as per the fair use policy.--TBCTaLk?!? 07:13, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
I was gonna mention that, but I got tired of writing... lol — riana_dzasta wreak havoc|damage report 07:36, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, nice Page... nice pic too..... :-P ..Jayant,17 Years,India • contribs 07:45, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

What about now? The Steve Vai image was uploaded under public domain, so I reckon there will be no problem. I also have changed the font style, is it clearer now? Cheers -- Imoeng 09:18, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Oh yeah! Much better now. Good work! :) — riana_dzasta wreak havoc|damage report 13:19, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Hahaha, thanks. But I should've contributed more! :P Cheers again -- Imoeng 13:35, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

From Talk:Cat flea

Q: I have fleas in the house. Do the fleas die as colder weather sets in?

We need brainstorming for this...

  • A) No, they'll survive. Abandon your house and kitties.
  • B) No, they'll survive. Stop being cheap and give your kitties Frontline.
  • C) No, they'll survive. Stop editing Wikipedia and start scratching.
  • D) No, they'll survive. Move to Minnesota and leave the windows open for a couple of nights. Your kitties will perish and the fleas might subsequently starve.

Húsönd 21:16, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

I don't believe fleas die in cold weather, as they live in animal/your fur/hair anyway...--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 21:59, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
I just asked Yahoo answers a question similar to this. Of the answers I received I chose the one that said to buy a box of "20 Mule Team Borax" in the laundry soap isle and sprinkle it on carpets and in corners an such. In a couple of days, the fleas will dry up and can be vaccumed away. I can say that my problem has lessened considerably. As for the pets, bathing and protection should be used. Frontline drops is good. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 00:43, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Uh, "dry up", like have their internal juices boil and then shrivel like prunes? Or what? -Fsotrain09 18:28, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
It's something like that. I'm not sure about the whole biology aspect of it, it was just what I was told. Frankly, I couldn't care less if it made them explode. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 18:15, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Simple English

Has anyone noticed that the Simple English Wikipedia has a Coffee lounge as well now?--TBCTaLk?!? 08:14, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Damn. That is "simple English". -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 18:38, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Sig change

My previous sig was bit too long, so I decided to change it to this one:


Any thoughts on it?--TBCΦtalk? 11:40, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

I like the thing between them, what is it, actually? Its like Dream Theater's logo :P. Its good, nice colour! Cheers -- Imoeng 12:47, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Thanks for the comment! BTW, it's the Greek letter Phi.--TBCΦtalk? 16:04, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
And thanks for doing what I asked! :) Yeah but if you add "M" logo it would be like Dream Theater's :P. When I opened the Phi article, I immediately closed it, because it has math and physics, ahahah. Cheers -- Imoeng 17:55, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Caption Competition!

It was only a matter of time before this happened, so here it is: The Esperanza/Coffee lounge all-star Caption Competition!

So: Find an Image that is aproprate (Free use, G rated ect.) then simply make a good caption, by typing it beneath your image; then, sign your name.

Behold! The trophy! YOU MAY NOT TOUCH IT!

Scores will be given out of Ten (Fifty toatal). For:

  • Originality (2)
  • Humor (6)
  • Image choice (2)

The winner as well as being given a year supply of Coffee and a years supply of lounge will recive the DFRTurnip Tropy®. But then, it's not about the wining or the fabulous Turnip, it's about having a go and having some fun.

Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 13:01, 2 October 2006 (UTC)


If the competitors are allowed to choose any image they want, then wouldn't contest become more focused on finding the funnier picture and not on making the best caption?--TBCΦtalk? 13:15, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

No, I think it's meant to be like those cheesy competitions in women's mags, where you have a fairly normal photo with a stupid caption and you put a new twist on it. Or something. The entries to those are always pretty lame... I'm sure we can do better. — riana_dzasta wreak havoc|damage report 13:22, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, the 6 points is awarded for the humor of the caption, which is secondary to the 2 awarded for image choice. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 22:53, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Can the image be self-made?--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 01:02, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
Well, that's my picture (the bunny one.)...I made it myself...Can you enter self-made pictures...?--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 02:26, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
Hammertime. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 22:35, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
Hmmm.. I suppose so, but I don't think it should be encouraged - the enphisis is on the caption, (6 points) not the image (2 points), but good work anyway. Your winning. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 10:29, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
Wow, really? Cool.--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 22:01, 3 October 2006 (UTC) I changed my username, I used to be Suit-n-tie.
Well, you were, before there were any other competitors :) . Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 06:24, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
Fair enough.--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 20:44, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

When exactly does judging begin? :D --TBCΦtalk? 00:32, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

Soon, my friend.--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 01:35, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Exactly it begins on the 13th, that should be enough time. Judging can begin then and go for two days. I want to give everyone a chance to enter - not just those who frequent the Coffee Lounge. Entries have been great so far. Myself and the other judges look forward to more. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 22:20, 8 October 2006 (UTC)


(Please add yourself. Limit 5 )

  • Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 13:01, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
  • IAMTHEEGGMAN (temp Sig)
  • Húsönd
  • ~crazytales56297 21:19, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
  • SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 01:35, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Right. That's done, a fine lot of editors, all of you. Now remember, no taking bribes, unless their really good. Now, Bring on the captions! Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 10:26, 3 October 2006 (UTC)


(Please add yourself)

  • Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 04:06, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
  • $PЯINGεrαgђ 16:07, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Che Nuevara 18:27, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
  • TBCΦtalk? 01:28, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
  • ßottesiηi (talk) 21:36, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Spawn Man 07:31, 9 October 2006 (UTC)
  • ---

Curious and happy observers

Yes curious and happy! -- Szvest 23:22, 2 October 2006 (UTC) Wiki me up ®
  • riana_dzasta wreak havoc|damage report 11:03, 4 October 2006 (UTC) happy, lazy grin


(Limit 2 per Competitor please)






Tree Biting Conspiracy

Spawn Man

Question about my userpage

I'm wondering if my fellow Esperanzians can help me out here... when I scroll down on my userpage, the picture of the cat and the navframe with my awards shift to the bottom right corner, leaving a black rectangle where the navframe was. They tend to stay there until I move my mouse around. I use Internet Explorer; does anyone else experience this in other browsers, or in Internet Explorer as well? Does my page even show up properly?

Thanks in advance ;-) — Editor at Large(speak) 20:18, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Nice userpage. I use Mozilla Firefox, and I don't see any problems. bibliomaniac15 20:24, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
This is not an ad, but switch to Firefox, its nice. I started to use it two weeks ago and since then there is no strange stuff like that. And its a really nice userpage, I like papyrus! But the guys said they couldn't read it :( (look another heading above). Imoeng 22:38, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
I don't see any problems and I don't use FireFox. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 01:38, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
I'm using Firefox and I can't read Editor at Large's signature. Oddly enough, coz I actually have the Papyrus font installed.--Húsönd 02:03, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
I guess I don't have that font. It looks like every other font I see on here to me. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 02:08, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

That's odd. Every computer I've been on has had the Papyrus font... or been able to show it, at any rate. Maybe it has to do with your version of Windows (or Mac, or Linux, whatever). Húsönd, what does my sig look like? Why can't you read it? — Editor at Large(speak) 21:06, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

It looks like a faint group of tiny dots and bars. There's not a single letter that I can recognize. :-/ I tried viewing through other browsers (Netscape and Internet Explorer), but the problem persists. Maybe it's because of the font size, I'm not sure though.--Húsönd 03:42, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
Hm, well, I don't know anything about computers, but I've got windows millenium and Internet Explorer and I can see it. And I agree with others, papyrus is a cool font. Ungovernable ForceGot something to say? 07:49, 9 October 2006 (UTC)



That's my current sig. I'd like to hear others' input on it, and suggestsions for a new sig. ~crazytales56297 21:07, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

I'm not fond of the grayish background, but otherwise it's a great sig.--TBCΦtalk? 21:24, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
It's blue, TBC. Your monitor is slightly messed up. Slap it around a bit with a large trout. ~crazytales56297 22:01, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Its bluey-gray, but that qualifies as greyish, maybe your moniter is overly blue. If you have no trout to hand, I've heard a belgian sheppard can do the job fine too. Philc TECI 22:06, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Not to worry, I'm fine with my cheese and grapes and pumpernickel. Either way, Philc 0780 is right, though it's a bit bluish (is that a word?), it's partly grey as well.--TBCΦtalk? 23:07, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Its pretty blue, nice sig! Imoeng 22:35, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

I de-grayed it. Now it's more purple than anything. ~crazytales56297 00:16, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
I prefer this colour, and thanks Imoeng. New sig ideas anyone? ~crazytales56297 00:18, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
It looks more like a lilac or a lavender to me. I like it though. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 01:40, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
Yup, it's a lavender. ~crazytales56297 01:59, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
I guess there is nothing wrong with my monitor. Sweet signature, though. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 03:04, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

My user name

I've been thinking of changing my user name, but I'm not good at coming up with a new name...Could you make some suggestions? I'd still want the new name to mention Suit, tho'. Any sorta suggestion would be appreciated, Thanks,--Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 03:33, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Wait, never mind, I changed it.--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 04:00, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
I like it! -- Cielomobile minor7♭5 04:34, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Truly Ticked Off

I'm extremely ticked off. There's this user that won't stop putting up personal attacks against me, and repeatedly vandalized my talk page, could someone help me out?--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 04:50, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Also, he's now a sockpuppet. He told me so himself just now. Please, help me out.--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 04:52, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
What kind of help are you looking for? I will try whatever I can. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 05:02, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
Anything: talking to him, temporary block, etc...He is a sockpuppet, which is bad, of course, and he's using it to avoid a block that'll only last a day. Anyway, anything'll do, I'm, as I said earlier, truly ticked off about this.--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 05:12, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
Alright, I'll look into it. He won't get away with it, don't fret. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 05:29, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
If you have any evidence of personal attacks or sockpuppetry, feel free to report it to either Wikipedia:Personal attack intervention noticeboard or Wikipedia:Suspected sock puppets.--TBCΦtalk? 12:31, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Is it possible to be ticked on? Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 06:33, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Maybe if you're a clock... -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 07:12, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
Touche.--TBCΦtalk? 00:31, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

Text adventures

Hello everyone. This is a bit of a shameless plug, but the 12th Annual Interactive Fiction Competition 2006 (website) began a few days ago, and one of the games is mine (The Bible Retold: The Bread and the Fishes). Now, we're not allowed to discuss publically any individual entrants until the voting period is over (on the 15th of November), but I wondered what people thought of text adventures generally? Do people here play them still? Write them? Has anyone actually heard of them? Thanks and regards, —Celestianpower háblame 16:16, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

I've played a bit of Zork and I've played the Hitchhikers game, but other than that, nada. Programming them sounds fun though; what do you use? Laïka 17:52, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
Inform 6. Inform 7 is too wordy and inprecise for my liking. Regards, —Celestianpower háblame 17:59, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
I'm trying 7 out for now; it seems more newbie friendly. So far my test game (Do you like waffles?) is going quite well (Even if it consists of two rooms, a foul smelling dog and an edible waffle so far)! Laïka 19:13, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
Update It's finished (kind of). It's rather basic, but it works. Laïka 20:11, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
What exactly are they? AlethiophileEvil Kitten wants you to TALK TO ME 19:07, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
They're the sort of game which consist typically of something along the lines of "You are in a bakery. You can see a waffle and a foul smelling dog. To the north is a kitchen", except a lot better than that, obviously. Laïka 19:13, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
I looked at the page and knew immediately what they were. I have played them and rather like them, though I did not know that they were known by that name. AlethiophileEvil Kitten wants you to TALK TO ME 19:16, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
(edit conflict) When I was a kid, I got a CD-ROM with the Zork games on it. I was able to beat the first one, but I never figured out Zork II. There was a puzzle with what sounded like a baseball diamond, but I could never solve it. I was pretty much turned off from text games after that. For those of you who have never played Zork (or text games in general) they have no picures at all. Everything is described in text, and you play by typing in simple commands. --Kyoko 19:24, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Ello ello ello

(edit conflict) No, not Elmo Elmo Elmo, ello ello ello, meaning hello hello hello. I am new. No, let me rephrase that: I am new to Esperanza. But 'tis I who is old to Wikipedia.

I am the lord of (besides Darkness), subpages (I have seven), templates (I have two created by and for my pages), anything Pokemon (especially Legendary), and anything Star Wars movies and LEGO games.

I am the wiseman of Dark, Ness, and Lord, and without further ado...

Old Godzilla was hopping around
Tokyo City like a big playground
When suddenly Batman burst from the shade
And hit Godzilla with a Batgrenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq Fu
When Aaron Carter came out of the blue

And he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal
Then they both got flattened by the Batmobile
But before it could make it back to the Batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave
And took an AK47 out from under his hat
And blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Because Optimus Prime came to save the day

This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime
Like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime
And then Shaq came back covered in a tire track
But Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back
And Batman was injured, and trying to get steady
When Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete
But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped
Indiana Jones took him out with his whip

Then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind
And he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find
'Cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed
And Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist
Then he jumped in the air and did a somersault
While Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault
Onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air
Then they both got hit by a Care Bear Stare, oooh

This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the Ultimate Showdown...

Angels sang out in immaculate chorus
Down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris
Who deliver a kick which could shatter bones
Into the crotch of Indiana Jones
Who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain
As Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne
But Chuck saw through his clever disguise
And he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs

Then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"'s Black Knight and
Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and
Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader
Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan,
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan
All came out of no where lightning fast
And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy _ _ _
It was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw
With civilians looking on total awe

And the fight raged on for a century
Many lives were claimed, but eventually
The champion stood, the rest saw their better:
Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater

This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the Ultimate Showdown...
This is the Ultimate Showdown...
This is the Ultimate Showdown...
Of Ultimate Destiny...

-DarknessLord | T | C 19:27, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

I am utterly confused... -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 19:38, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
This should help you DarknessLord | T | C 21:12, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
That would have been hell to place breaks after. Anyway, I like how santa gets taken out by the D'lorian (hope to mercy I spelt that right) from back to the future. Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 23:49, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
I personally like Lemon Demon's ebaumsworldsucks flash better than the Ultimate Showdown of the Ultimate Destiny. I don't know why...--TBCΦtalk? 00:31, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

Hate to burst your bubble, but the lyrics being listed here may be in violation of copyright. bibliomaniac15 01:08, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

A New Award

I've had this image for a while, and have recently decided on giving it out to people I deem worthy of it. What do you guys think?--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 03:26, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

I'll be giving this out.
Why…? — $PЯINGεrαgђ 04:40, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
How is "worthiness" deemed? -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 04:42, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
It is deemed by that guy. The guy that lives across my block and scares the crap out of me. Anyway, how is worthiness deemed? Answer: By the worthiness deemer.--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 04:46, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
I don't understand. — $PЯINGεrαgђ 04:51, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
???... -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 04:55, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
...?--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 04:56, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
Still allergic to blueberries.--TBCΦtalk? 21:36, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
You are?--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 22:16, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

Can an allergy to blueberries even be cured?? -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 22:39, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

I don't think so.--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 22:42, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
I don't believe an allergy to anything can be cured. Treated, but not cured. | Mr. Darcy talk 02:12, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
Maybe that's what I meant. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 23:07, 6 October 2006 (UTC)


Just perusing and found this - surely this must violate some privacy law? (Let alone about 4GB of WP policy, although that doesn't mean much towards Brandt's actions since his permaban.) haz (talk) e 15:48, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

I agree. I wonder where did they get those pictures? IolakanaT 18:49, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
Ironically, the page is criticizing Wikipedia's privacy issues...--TBCΦtalk? 21:40, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
I just wonder he couldn't get my official beautiful pic [9]! -- John Doe #11 - Wiki me up ®

What is all this??? -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 22:41, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

It's a kind of a long and complicated story. It was sparked after the creation of Daniel Brandt article. The subject of the article himself started to argue that we [Wikipedia] have no right to have an entry about a private personality. He also argued that he's not a notable person to have such an encyclopaedic entry. He started to edit the same article himself using many sockpuppets before being banned for good. He than started (as he did before w/ What he did is simply create the havemind page where he included personal details about everybody who disagreed with (thus the list). It's kindav retaliation! He's also been threathening of suing wikipedia in general and people on his list in particular. And this was my case. -- Szvest 23:05, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
Reason #268 why I don't want to be an admin. *Cringes*. --Fsotrain09 23:35, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
What a maroon. Also, on another topic, is there a list of the previous 267 reasons somewhere? -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 23:59, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
You may see your name added on the list if you don't refrain from calling him a maroon! -- Szvest 11:19, 6 October 2006 (UTC) Wiki me up ®
Oh, it's just cheeky fun. Sheesh... -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 23:10, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

I see some inacccuracies on that page (which btw I knew about mid July) - dbiv is no longer an admin. Among others. And Brandt is a certifiable kook, i agree with Guy. ~crazytales56297 O rly? 03:26, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

Whatever it takes for someone to get famous, I suppose. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 03:35, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

too much wiki?

I think I have just exhibited one of the symptoms of a wikipediaholic: I saw a sign on which something was written with a single word of a different color text than the other. I immediately, without thinking, wondered where that word wikilinked. Anybody else ever done that? We should start a page of "signs you've been on wikipedia a wee bit long." I'd love to hear other antecdotes! Laurənwhisper 23:16, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

Last night I dreamed about Wikipedia for the first time. That's a clear sign that I'm a Wikipediholic, but not as clear as the fact that I spend 12-15 hours a day on Wikipedia. My social life has collapsed and I don't even seem to care about it.--Húsönd 23:48, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
I have never sleep-dreamed about Wikipedia, but I often day-dream about the edits I want to make. My computer time is split between World of Warcraft and Wikipedia, so sometimes I can do as much as 7 hours a day on Wikipedia, and other times I don't go on at all. (gasp!). DoomsDay349 01:01, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
I dreamed that the Wikipedia globe came into my room and started talking. Scared me crappless.--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 01:12, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
Question. What language does the Wikipedia globe speak? It has all the symbols on it...DoomsDay349 01:21, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
I don't wanna talk about it. (Starts to rock back and forth).--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 01:42, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
Wanna talk about it?

Have a seat. I promise I won't judge...much. DoomsDay349 02:14, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

'''The''' [[Wiki]]|Language]], {{OF}} <course=WNW 5 m.p.h.</course>! :P — $PЯINGεrαgђ 21:13, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
Ah, of course. We should have some WikiSpeak conversations. For instance: '''How''' [[are]] ''you'' {{today}}? DoomsDay349 01:32, 7 October 2006 (UTC)
Heh! Well, I eBay sometimes, and there's an orange bar at the top. If I ever look at it idly, I start hunting for the 'last change' link. — riana_dzasta wreak havoc-damage report 06:23, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
I'm always thinking of new things to add to articles when I'm away from the computer. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 07:04, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

The chair and some debate on coffe/tea/espresso/cigarettes/other

Nobody tell Bottesini but I sat in his chair. It's really comfortable. It's great for sipping lattes in. I might be tempted to go back...DoomsDay349 01:04, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

I am repulsed by coffee...tea for me! bibliomaniac15 01:07, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
Anyone else sit in the chair yet? Or am I the only one to stand up to Bottesini's chair-based tyranny? And Biblio, I understand. I enjoy both coffee and tea...I'VE GOT IT! We'll mix coffee...and tea! We could call it...Coftea! Or...Teafee! Yeah! Teafee! Bwahwahwa! DoomsDay349 01:23, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
Or combine it with the wonderful addictive ingredient in cigarettes and you have... nicotea. -- ßottesiηi (talk) 01:40, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
The espresso machine is on at Chez Darcy ... come on over :) | Mr. Darcy talk 01:54, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
Anyway, as I sat in the chair and drank my latte, I could only think about how amazingly comfortable it was. It's amazing. You guys should try it. DoomsDay349 01:58, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
Yes, it has a massage function... wait... what!?!? -- ßottesiηi (talk) 02:00, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
Ummm....ummmm....ummm...IT WAS CHUCK NORRIS! DoomsDay349 02:04, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
See! See! It was Chuck Norris! DoomsDay349 02:12, 6 October 2006 (UTC)


The image to the right proves me totally innocent of sitting in your chair. Ahhh...what a wonderful chair...I MEAN...CHUCK NORRIS! DoomsDay349 02:12, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

Wait...Do you mean you sat on Chuck Norris?--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 02:38, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
...I was...misqouted. I have never sat on Chuck Norris. I meant that Chuck Norris sat in the chair. (can someone make an award saying "this user has never sat on Chuck Norris? That'd be great.) DoomsDay349 02:42, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
I sat on Chuck Norris and lived

How bout that?--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 02:58, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

Great! We should add that to our userpages. I know I will...DoomsDay349 20:10, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

I have yet to see a non-Esperanzan sitting in the chair, drinking beer and espresso (triple shot of course), and smoking a cigarette. 8-O — $PЯINGεrαgђ 21:10, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

But of course. Only someone as awesome as an Esperanzan could comprehend the coolness and have the ability to do so. DoomsDay349 01:01, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

Firefox Addon....

I found this Firefox Addon that makes text you type into Binary, leet speak, and Morse Code... I dunno much Morse Code (as a matter of fact... none... but can you see if this is correct...

.. .- -- - .... . . --. --. -- .- -. What it should say? "IAMTHEEGGMAN"...thanks... you guessed it --IAMTHEEGGMANΔdark side 02:38, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

The real EA mascot

too much bamboo?

I found it. Behold! -- ßottesiηi (talk) 20:49, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

What the heck?!? — $PЯINGεrαgђ 21:07, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Support da PANDAH -- Szvest 21:21, 6 October 2006 (UTC) Wiki me up ®
A vandal fighting the cutie pandahhh!

At least the devil mascot got an E (Speranza) formed at his arrowhead! We can change the coulours to green if he wins the battle Vs. da pandahh. -- Szvest 21:58, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

Too little Bamboo! ARRGGHH! Dfrg.msc 1 . 2 . 3 22:42, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

Nature sig

I have a conundrum. How can a fantastic user, such as myself, change the font in my signature. I can't believe I haven't thought of this before. Some help would be greatly appreciated. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 23:16, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

Do you mean you want the code for changing the font or you want to know what font you should use? — Editor at Large(speak) 23:54, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
I already know the font that I want. I need the code for changing it. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 01:59, 7 October 2006 (UTC)
All right; it's nice and easy. Where you have your <font color="midnightblue"> tags add face="(fontname)". It will look like this: <font color="midnightblue" face="impact"> . So, your signature will be
-[[User:SaturnYoshi|<font color="midnightblue" face="impact">Saturn</font>]]
[[User:SaturnYoshi/Esperanza|<font color="green" face="impact">Yoshi</font>]]  
<sup>[[User  talk:SaturnYoshi|<font color="maroon" face="impact">THE VOICES</font>]]</sup>
which will look like this: -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES
Just replace all of the "impact" sections with whatever font you would like. Hope I helped! — Editor at Large(speak) 02:54, 7 October 2006 (UTC)
Thank you! You've helped me out alot!! -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 03:07, 7 October 2006 (UTC)
No problem. I like the new sig! ;-) — Editor at Large(speak) 04:57, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

/me pukes at the ComicSansMS, that font is too overused. Cool sig otherwise though. ~crazytales56297 O rly? 03:34, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

It's my favorite font, so I'm sticking with it. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 03:42, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
It's overused in many places, yes, but I think it looks cool in your sig. Now, if you started writing articles in Comic Sans... Then I would have to complain. But the signature, it is cool. — Editor at Large(speak) 05:04, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
Well there is my userpage... But it's not really overpowering. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 23:08, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

My 500th Edit

This pointless message is just to inform you all that this message is my 500th edit on wikipedia. *Tears of Happiness* Now, for my speech... Nah, perhaps not; it might make this page too long... Jam01 01:21, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

Congrats. Wikipedia needs you Jam! . Your income would increase sharply and shortly (see chart). -- Szvest 01:28, 7 October 2006 (UTC) Wiki me up ®
Great job on reaching 500. :D --TBCΦtalk? 03:17, 7 October 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, good for you, dude! :)--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 04:06, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

900th edit

I'm finally getting somewhere... I'm at 900 edits overall (this is my 901st) and my 900th edit (a warning to a vandal) was also my 199th user talk page edit. I should have timed it better... O-C me doesn't like 199. So close! Argh!
Is the fact that I have a higher userspace edit than mainspace edit count a problem? The thing is, I start most of my articles in my sandboxes -- and perform long-term edits there too (like for Ahmose I). And a lot of my templates are in my userspace and I update them frequently. Plus, I keep all my records of pages and templates and vandals on my subpages...
Is there anything I can do to fix this? Probably not, I suppose. Unless I stop using my subpages for everything. — Editor at Large(speak) 02:20, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

hey, everybody has their own editing habits. A high userspace edit count is not bad. ~crazytales56297 O rly? 03:59, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
True. People edit whatever they want. Good for you, man. Also, I just got 2000 edits.--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 04:10, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

Man? *ahem* very much a female Editor at Large here. Long hair, classical ballet, the whole shebang.
Congrats on your 2000th edit (2011 now)-- you're far more prolific than I! Especially since that's just from August 14th to now. I don't want to know what your score on WP:TEST would be...— Editor at Large(speak) 05:00, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

I don't mean disrespect. I have a habit of calling anyone (disregarding gender) man. Sorry about that.--Atomic-Super-SuitWhat Have I Done?! 05:08, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
Hey, not a problem. I understand, man. Though I don't think that'll ever come naturally for me!— Editor at Large(speak) 05:32, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
I just use dude or mate. B-) But…about your edit count. You're doing very well, once you get around 1000 you start to get noticed. ;) But notice that I have ≈900 userspace edits compared to only ≈200 main. So it's not a problem. — $PЯINGεrαgђ 16:25, 8 October 2006 (UTC) P.S. Have you ever considered going on Editor Review? Although I know yours would be an Editor at Large review! :P
Yes, I thought of the editor review; I was going to wait until I make the substantial edits I'm preparing (elsewhere) and once I'm above 1000 edits. Really, compared to most, I've not contributed a whole lot. A few templates that only I use, a slew of userboxes but only for one WIkiProject, a ton of vandalism reverts but no major ones (except I had the honor of reverting a Billy Boulders page hijack), lots of small edits, a few wikifications, and some tiny articles started. If the article I've been copyediting mades it to GA status I'll be thrilled, but I only edited what was already there and didn't contribute anything major.
I don't know, I guess I'm a behind-the-scenes contributor; but I'm happy in that capacity! — Editor at Large(speak) 18:29, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
that would be a Bobby Boulders hijacking. I nitpick, E@L, sorry. ~crazytales56297 O rly? 00:53, 9 October 2006 (UTC)
Nice work on the big 900! I am about 400 edits behind you. Don't feel bad about a ton of edits to your userpage etc. because it looks great and all those edits to it were worth it!! - Jam01 02:37, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

Review me! Hehehe

Hi guys how are you? Well, I know this is a bit inappropriate, but could you drop me some lines at Wikipedia:Editor review/Imoeng? I will really appreciate it. Oh btw, when will the next userpage award starts? I want to participate :P. Cheers -- Imoeng 12:33, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

The Joy Luck Club

Has anyone ever read this book? I thought it was horrible.--Edtalking to me contribs 17:24, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

Well, Ed, I've read it and loved it. Even the movie was good. Not as good as the book, but still good. -Fsotrain09 17:30, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
Yes, the author's intentions on the book was good. In fact, the plot was great! It's just that the book gets confusing when there are eight different stories going on. (4 mothers and 4 daughters).--Edtalking to me contribs 17:40, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

You know what's strange??? There was an exceprt from this book in my literature textbook during 5th grade. I don't know about the rest of you, but my literature textbook is merely an anthology of excerpts from different novels.--Edtalking to me contribs 18:52, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

Signature Problem

I want my signature to look like this: Monkey 13!
But it looks like this: [[User talk:Monkey13|Monkey<nowiki> </nowiki>[[User:Monkey13|13]]<nowiki></nowiki>[[User:Monkey13/Awards|!]]]] 22:06, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

Remove all the "nowikis" from it. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 22:08, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
[[User talk:Monkey13|Monkey]][[User:Monkey13|13]] copy and paste this into your signature bar under preferencs. Click "Raw Signature" and save. Do not include the "nowikis" in your sig. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 22:15, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
actually, he wants a link to his awards as well. Add [[User:Monkey13/Awards|!]] at the en.--EdI'm lonely, talk to me contribs 00:58, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

My watchlist!

Get ready for it folks…big surprise coming up…I have 9 pages on my watchlist.

Not anymore! (By the way, that was from [1]) I just passed 100 pages! Fear me, all vandals! — $PЯINGεrαgђ 03:14, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

Wow. Something must be wrong (and I think it's with me). I did some serious pruning of my watchlist, and I'm down to only 1451 pages. BTW, it's a good idea to check your watchlist occasionally in case any page move vandals have been active. For example, having the Esperanza Coffee Lounge on your watchlist, and then finding "Esperanza Coffee Lounge on Wheels!" on your watchlist. Apparently when a page you watch gets moved, you end up watching the new location too. --Kyoko 07:03, 9 October 2006 (UTC)
I've got 1,408. But I wasn't cutting mine back recently, so yeah, that's scary for you. It's funny to look on your complete list of watched pages and look for the redlinks to pages created by page move vandals. Here are some I have Crazy Eco-Terrorists, Homosexuality - GAY PEOPLE HAVE AIDS, POOL CLOSED DUE TO AIDS!!!, Posers Unlimited (page move of Hot Topic, lol), User:Phaedriel is Sharon K the Comanche bitch and obese old woman on wheels! (that's screwed up!). I used to have a lot more, but I got rid of them one day. Ungovernable ForceGot something to say? 07:30, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

Good (or bad) literature or movies

Has anyone here read a really good (or bad) book wor watched a great (or terrible) movie? I read The Joy Luck Club (terrible) and Angels and Demons (great!). I also watched Take the Lead (fantastic!) with no dislike for a particular movie.--EdI'm lonely, talk to me contribs 03:28, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

The Journey of Souls series (right now only a redirect to the author, C. D. Baker) are probably the best three books I've ever read. The worst is probably the Pickwick Papers by Dickens. — $PЯINGεrαgђ 04:22, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

Length of the page

Are we making it hard for Werndabot to keep up with us? This is the 41st heading. — $PЯINGεrαgђ 04:23, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

Might as well get out money's worth from it lol - • The Giant Puffin • 11:47, 9 October 2006 (UTC)
I've been noticing many sections related to signatures and usernames/userpages issues are being consistently added (9 sections so far at this page). I wonder why do we have to create a section everytime we have a question like how my signature looks like , I've got beans on my userpage or my signature was faked by a monster ! Maybe we can just create a subpage for that matter or else edit one single section and archive it ourselves instead of the bot as maybe we'd be editing the section much longer than 7 days. -- Szvest 12:31, 9 October 2006 (UTC) Wiki me up ®
Search Term: "Wikipedia:Esperanza/Coffee_lounge"

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